Couples Counseling

Do You Feel Lonely or Unhappy in Your Relationship?

couple walking in the forrestIs strain or disconnection in your relationship leading you to feel hopeless, dejected, and resigned to an unfulfilling partnership? It may be that you have grown apart, and you now feel distant and lonely, as though you are living with a roommate rather than a loving spouse or partner. Perhaps you are angry with your partner after a betrayal or a series of hurts, and you don’t know if you will ever be able to reclaim the joy and ease you once felt around each other. Maybe life stressors—such as a move, a career change, or the birth of a child—have put pressure on your relationship and brought once dormant conflicts to the surface. No matter what you try, you might have difficulty talking through these issues and your feelings and find that attempts to resolve your problems often lead nowhere. And, if small issues easily turn into major arguments, you might be tiptoeing around important conversations, even as you long for a change in the life you share together. Or, perhaps you feel you no longer have anything in common or anything to say.

In every aspect of your life, you may feel utterly drained by the emotional strain of your relationship. You may be finding it difficult to sleep, concentrate, or otherwise take care of yourself and fulfill your obligations. It may have become harder for you to take care of the kids or to work at home or at your job. Perhaps you don’t have any energy or enthusiasm for life anymore. Your days may feel increasingly empty, even when you’re with your partner, and you might wonder what happened to the love, care, and intimacy you and your partner once shared. More than anything, you may wish you could reconnect with your partner and feel fulfilled, respected, and appreciated in your relationship again.

If You Are Unsatisfied in Your Relationship, You Are NOT ALONE…

Many couples feel that their relationships do not live up to their hopes and dreams, especially as the realities of routines, disagreements, and natural differences in personality set in. They feel stuck and unsatisfied and wonder if they will ever enjoy excitement, companionship, and love again. It’s common for individuals in long-term relationships to feel a great yearning to be connected to their partners, only to feel increasingly frustrated and sad when their partners seem far away and unavailable.

No two people are the same, and over time, each person inevitably changes and grows. When two people are not seeing eye-to-eye anymore, different patterns of interaction can begin to emerge. Sometimes, the couple seems to argue endlessly. They end up feeling emotionally drained by their arguments, which go round and round, repeating endlessly, resolving nothing. At other times, one or both partners seem to “check out.” These couples are able to talk about the kids and their schedules, but little else. They spend the day avoiding each other while wishing their partners would reach out and demonstrate understanding and interest in their inner worlds. Each partner feels paralyzed and unable to take the first step.

Over time, it’s easy to fall into one of these patterns without even realizing it. Regardless of the particulars of your unique situation, you are not alone if you feel fed-up, hurt, and confused. And, with your commitment and the support of a skilled couples therapist, it is possible to shift your dynamic and reconnect with your partner again.

With Couples Counseling, You Can Heal and Strengthen Your Relationship

couple huggingYou don’t have to settle for a distant and unfulfilling partnership. With the help of a qualified therapist, you can renew your bond and develop the skills needed to nurture your connection over the long-term. No matter how far apart you may feel today, remember that something once made you and your partner fall in love. We can help you rediscover those charming, delightful, and attractive aspects of your partner and reconnect in your relationship.

In couples counseling at Relationship Center of Michigan, you and your partner can:

  • Learn to work through conflict and stop the repetitive arguments
  • Develop communication skills in a safe, nonjudgmental environment
  • Feel closer, more intimate, and affectionate
  • Re-build trust
  • Become best friends again

Dr. Joseph Dragun is a relationship expert with 20 years of experience. He has helped many couples re-discover their passion and intimacy. In our practice, Dr. Dragun has assembled and trained a team of therapists who can help you and your partner feel like a team again. A few things set us apart:

  • We are trained in a highly effective couples/relationship therapy called Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, through which you can resolve conflict in deep, lasting ways.
  • We have worked with over 1500 couples in the last seven years.
  • We make a genuine effort to meet and accept clients where they are, respecting them as unique individuals.
  • Our therapists are humble. We recognize that we are not all knowing and all seeing. We don’t have all the answers. But, with our experience and perspective, we can help you develop the tools to work through your problems and find relief from your struggle.
  • We observe couples’ interactions and help each partner really see and listen to the other.
  • We are comfortable, welcoming, and easy to talk to, not clinical and distant. We genuinely care about each of our clients.
  • We are accepting of difference and completely nonjudgmental.

No matter what you and your partner are struggling with, there is hope to renew your relationship and rediscover a sense of vibrancy, enthusiasm, and engagement with your life. Your relationship can become a source of comfort and understanding rather than pain and loneliness. Together, you and your partner can make positive changes that can support your relationship over the years to come.

But Wait….

We’ve already tried everything, including couples counseling. Why should we come to you?

We can definitely understand feeling hesitant and perhaps pessimistic about trying yet again. Part of the problem is that many therapists are not been specifically trained in couples counseling. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, which our counselors use, has been shown to be one of the most effective therapies available. Published studies show that about 90 percent of the couples suffering marital distress improved after 12 sessions of 90 minutes. By contrast, most mainstream therapies only are successful about 40 percent and 50 percent of the time. With help, support, and this approach, there is hope that you can change your relationship for the better.

We have tried everything to stop our arguments. Can anything help us? 

The negative, repetitive, cyclical arguments that so many couples find themselves stuck in are difficult. You may not only feel drained and exhausted, but also find that there is rarely any resolution to the problems you and your partner are fighting about. During one of these arguments, both partners end up simply reacting to each other, often not hearing or understanding what the other is really trying to say. A major aspect of our work with couples is to slow down the argument, tease out what you are feeling, and help your partner understand what you are saying and respond to you with empathy, patience, and honesty. In couples counseling sessions, you can develop important communication skills that can help you break free from the pain and frustration of cyclical arguments.

This sounds like a lot of work. I’m not sure I have the energy to do it. 

Many couples feel this way. So much of your energy is depleted by the strained relationship, the arguments, and the alienation. Make no mistake. This process does take work and commitment. But, we have noticed that the small successes that a couple achieves during the early sessions give them hope that things can be better. That hope gives them the energy to go on. The work you dedicate to your relationship now can have an enormous positive impact on your overall wellbeing. You can look forward to spending time with your partner again.

Couples Counseling Can Help You Reconnect

You don’t have to struggle with loneliness and frustration anymore. Instead, you can reestablish connection and rediscover happiness, friendship, and love in your relationship.

We invite you to download the Relationship Report and to visit the assessment page and discover more about your relationship.

If you have any questions about couples counseling, please don’t hesitate to call us at 810-227-6218 or email us at info@relationship-center-mi.com.

We offer a free twenty-minute phone consultation with a therapist.

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