See a Couples Counselor Before the Wedding? Why?

There are a million things to do before the wedding such as invitations, attire, flowers, counseling, photographers, music, food…

Wait, counseling?

Yes, counseling. Research tells us that a few sessions with a couples counselor are better than good intentions and well-meaning promises when it comes to seeing your marriage survive some pretty bleak divorce statistics. Couples counseling before saying your vows is actually a very wise investment in your future.

Why is counseling before the wedding so important? Let’s see:

How a Couples Counselor Can Help

Working with your counselor, you will…

Create a smoother life transition.

Professional guidance before your “I do’s” starts the process of adjusting, communicating, and compromising together. So, the sooner you put those skills into practice, the better equipped you and your partner will be to live in harmony.

A couples counselor will give you the tools to manage your life together. It also helps you tackle decision making and build a life of balance, kindness, and acceptance. You’ll learn how to manage personality quirks, personal preferences, and expectations for your future.

Address communication patterns and areas that can be improved.

Effective communication is crucial and working with a couples counselor provides a safe place to examine your communication styles. You have the opportunity to become more aware of what’s working and what isn’t before the honeymoon ends.

Counseling sessions may be an ideal place to discuss difficult or sensitive issues honestly and productively. You may also find it’s a real advantage having a third party available to help you correct communication patterns that don’t work.

Better understand relationship expectations.

Without realizing it, you or your partner may have unrealistic expectations about marriage. Working through them is important for the health of your marriage. You also have a chance to talk about mutual goals and understand your different points of view. Topics like finances, family planning, and how to divide household chores may be addressed before they become points of conflict.

Learn conflict resolution skills.

Two people with different backgrounds, personalities, and points of view in one home are going to disagree. Learning how to handle disagreements without becoming resentful helps keep conflicts manageable. Counseling can help you deal with conflicts in more tolerant, compassionate ways so that both of you feel heard and understood.

Find a proactive way to deal with past relationships.

Your relationship histories can carry a lot of emotional weight.

It’s important to know how your relationship with your parents, former partners, or any other significant people in your past will affect your marriage. Counseling sessions allow you to take the time to discuss your past pain with the goal of developing a healthier, more mindful relationship together.

Discover how to blend two families easier.

Do you or your partner have children from previous relationships? Blending two families can be difficult, but premarital counseling can help put in place the important structure and emotional and physical support all members of the family will need.

Many people underestimate how much time and energy it will take to manage step-child and step-parent relationships, family loyalties, and the influence of ex-partners on their new household and marriage. A counselor can help you set realistic expectations, boundaries, and family guidelines early on.

Enjoy long-lasting benefits.

Years after couples counseling, you will still use the tools you were given and you will know the value of seeking help from a professional if marital difficulties arise in the future.

Possibly uncover incompatibilities.

Sometimes premarital counseling reveals a hard truth. Some engaged couples find out that they have incompatibilities that won’t support their wedding plans. While that may be difficult to face, understanding it can spare couples years in a painful marriage.

Premarital counseling is an investment in your future. It is solid and invaluable insurance against a world that can be tough on “until death do you part.” Seek out someone experienced and dedicated who will help you take the first key steps to keeping your marriage safe and secure.

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16 Responses to See a Couples Counselor Before the Wedding? Why?

  1. Janette Becigneul says:

    I am presently searching for a couples counselor for my significant other and myself. One issue we have is distance. I am in metro Detroit but he is presently the Virgin Islands. We are looking for someone willing to conduct therapy with us with at least him appearing via Skype or phone. I’m wondering if this is something you can do.

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  8. Brian Chidsey and Leslie Molnar says:

    I am engaged and my Fiancé and I have different attachment styles…anxious vs. avoidant…we need to talk with someone who is not involved, and can offer us some advice.

  9. If seeing a therapist brings up major issues for you and your partner, it could turn into an argument that ends with you calling off your engagement. While this is not ideal, it can also save you from marrying someone who is not right for you and it can also save you from the heartbreak of divorce.

  10. says:

    Our counselor also suggested having a six-month checkup after the wedding to discuss any changed expectations or issues that have come up. Ours is scheduled for next week, and Meg s list of counseling topics is very timely.

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